deja vu
remember college graduation? and how everyone kept asking "what are you going to do next?" like you're supposed to have all the answers, and have your whole life figured out before you get there. you know what? life doesn't work that way.
and you know what else? it doesn't get easier the next time around. this week i'm finishing my spring semester at roosevelt. i have one more poetry workshop and one nonfiction workshop and i'll be on to summer. which means no more workshops. i have a lit class in june, and a thesis due august 1st (although, all the poems are written, and the draft is due june 1st.) september 1st, exactly 4 months from today, i will officially have an MFA in creative writing. i'm graduating again.
just like last time, everyone keeps asking "and then what?" like i should have it all figured out. truth is... i don't have a clue. i have no regrets about the last 2 years (except maybe i should have gone to a school that provided funding and not just loans...) but really, roosevelt has been great, and living back home has really helped me strengthen some old friendships and spend quality time with family. especially my nieces and nephews. but if i had gotten into a school on the other side of the country, i would have gone there instead. and how different would my life have been?
i don't know what comes next, but i do know this. i'm good at alot of things, and i'm a quick learner. i could be happy working in a wide variety of jobs. but i know i need contact with other people, and i need something to keep me busy so i get really invested in what i am doing and can get excited about it. beyond that? not a clue. i know i don't want to teach this year. maybe next fall, or the fall after i will apply for teaching positions. right now i need a break. i need to make some cash and take some steps toward being an independent non-student.
while living in libertyville has been great, i don't want to be stuck here for the rest of my life. and being in the city for class every week makes me feel grown up and independent. but being around here makes me feel like i'm still a college student. i'm in limbo. i'm not really in the real world. i need some kind of change, which i'm generally not a big fan of. but i can't help feeling that if i had never moved home after hope, i'd have the whole world in front of me to choose from. and being here just makes me feel a little stuck again. like i should have my whole life figured out and it should all be here. but i don't want that.
major life decision time. again. and i'm trying to open that door that puts the whole world in front of me. and maybe i'll make some mistakes along the way, but that's life, right? i just want to live every day of it. now what do i choose?
and you know what else? it doesn't get easier the next time around. this week i'm finishing my spring semester at roosevelt. i have one more poetry workshop and one nonfiction workshop and i'll be on to summer. which means no more workshops. i have a lit class in june, and a thesis due august 1st (although, all the poems are written, and the draft is due june 1st.) september 1st, exactly 4 months from today, i will officially have an MFA in creative writing. i'm graduating again.
just like last time, everyone keeps asking "and then what?" like i should have it all figured out. truth is... i don't have a clue. i have no regrets about the last 2 years (except maybe i should have gone to a school that provided funding and not just loans...) but really, roosevelt has been great, and living back home has really helped me strengthen some old friendships and spend quality time with family. especially my nieces and nephews. but if i had gotten into a school on the other side of the country, i would have gone there instead. and how different would my life have been?
i don't know what comes next, but i do know this. i'm good at alot of things, and i'm a quick learner. i could be happy working in a wide variety of jobs. but i know i need contact with other people, and i need something to keep me busy so i get really invested in what i am doing and can get excited about it. beyond that? not a clue. i know i don't want to teach this year. maybe next fall, or the fall after i will apply for teaching positions. right now i need a break. i need to make some cash and take some steps toward being an independent non-student.
while living in libertyville has been great, i don't want to be stuck here for the rest of my life. and being in the city for class every week makes me feel grown up and independent. but being around here makes me feel like i'm still a college student. i'm in limbo. i'm not really in the real world. i need some kind of change, which i'm generally not a big fan of. but i can't help feeling that if i had never moved home after hope, i'd have the whole world in front of me to choose from. and being here just makes me feel a little stuck again. like i should have my whole life figured out and it should all be here. but i don't want that.
major life decision time. again. and i'm trying to open that door that puts the whole world in front of me. and maybe i'll make some mistakes along the way, but that's life, right? i just want to live every day of it. now what do i choose?
posted by KTB at
12:28 AM
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